How’s my beard?



K: How’s my beard look today?

Me: I think it should fade more at the jawline.

K: No. That’s how it’s supposed to look.

Me: Then is should end lower.

K: No. That’s how it’s suppose to be. Look, I googled George Clooney’s beard before I started growing this because that muthafucka knows how to grow a beard.

Me: *giggles and jumps up and down excitedly*

K: What?

Me: This is so going on the blog.

K: This is why I don’t tell you things.

Me: You tell me everything.

K: I really should stop.

I don’t think he understands what “George Clooney’s beard” really means.

I’d buy a big vault



Me: Did you hear that George Lucas is going to donate all the money from selling Star Wars?

K: Yes.

Me: Who really needs that much money anyway? What would you do with 4 billion dollars?

K: I’d buy a big vault and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck. Then I’d make it rain for a couple years. Once I was done, I’d walk away and say “Eh, I’m done with it. You can have it.”